@shariv67: My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: What are you reading? Me: "Sex and the Single Guy." Her: What's that about? Me: (Pause) Church architecture.
@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.