@shariv67: My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.
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@mattZillaaaa: [job interview] "So where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Getting asked this question somewhere else
@just1fool: My aunt called me a basket case so I swallowed all of her decorative, weaved pieces of art that hold things to show her.
@slimmy_shady: "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!Damn these thin walls. Don't know if my neighbors are having sex, praying or having a coronary.