@5hael: My phone autocorrected my name to shark and now I hate my parents for not calling me shark
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@GoldenSpirals: Why do they call it a "shit-eating grin"? I don't think I'd be smiling if I was eating shit.
@buhsbaby_baby: Can I get pregnant from looking at a man in another car, at a red light but then quickly looking away when he looks over?
@djdarrellripley: Me: !!Ugh!! YOUR DAMN DOG IS STARING AT ME AGAIN! Him: Just ignore him. Me: I'm trying! Him: I was talking to the dog...
@gwatts77: If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!