@5hael: My phone autocorrected my name to shark and now I hate my parents for not calling me shark
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@River_Niles: Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.
@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.