@StaceyShortcake: My phone autocorrects 'sex' into 'pez' in case you were wondering just how dead my pez life is.
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@DumbConfessions: Her:"Let's make a baby." Him: "Okay! Hold on." *goes to bathroom* [5 minutes later.] Her: "Where'd you go?" Him: "You meant with you??"
@markydoodoo: *sees a meteor* I wonder where that's landing. Maybe if I run fast enough I can get crushed by it.