@StaceyShortcake: My phone autocorrects 'sex' into 'pez' in case you were wondering just how dead my pez life is.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@buckweiser13: I've been driving with a coca cola can stuck in snow on the roof of my car for a week cuz 7 thinks it makes us cops. Stare all you want.
@funnybrad: Air Bud seems like a great movie, until you realize some poor kid was cut from the team to make room on the roster for a golden retriever
@Yair_Rosenberg: Twitter makes possible so many amazing things we couldn't do before. Like trolling the Nazis:
@KKAlThani: When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is "How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"