@rockingtheshow: My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie.
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@slimmy_shady: Hot girls who complain that you can't get laid... do you live on a deserted island?
@sixthformpoet: 1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
@blade_funner: Me: WHOOMP! there it is. Detective: Please stop saying that every time you find a clue.