@rockingtheshow: My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie.
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@KateWhineHall: "Oh my gosh, this is the biggest donut I've ever seen." "Mam, that's a tire." "Kids, get me a napkin."
@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
@LionJenkins: Dear Adobe, In all the times I've been to the circus I've never seen an Acrobat Reading.