@HallpassCanada: My phone dies quicker than the black guy in a horror movie.
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@DaHess1: "Cellphones only work when you talk into them like you're trying to be heard over a buzzsaw screwing a freight train." - My Dad
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy