@shesananteater: My phone just changed, 'calendar' to 'cake radar' and now I really wish I had that.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@djdarrellripley: Jehovah's Witness': Have you given any thought to the afterlife? Me: Depends, are you two gonna be there? J.W: Why yes.. [slams the door]
@okaypup: I wish I was from Finland so when people asked if I was Finnish I could say "no, in fact, I'm just getting started"
@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying." *raises megaphone to lips* How so?