@irememberfallin: My phone number is one digit off from a local restaurant's. When I'm in a bad mood, I'll take reservations.
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@BlindChow: Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED
@krispythehuman: A cooked human contains around 81500 calories, enough to feed me for 2 months. Anyways hi, I'm Krispy & this is my first time speed dating.
@WildeThingy: "I want to swim with an overweight, rich white guy before I die." - Dolphin bucket list.