@dumbbeezie: My phone only recognizes my fingerprint if it has cheese on it
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@stopbylater: I always have an elaborate flow chart on hand in case people ask me "What's the worst that can happen?"
@briangaar: FOUR STAGES OF LOSING MY KEYS 1. Can't find keys 2. Accuse everyone around me of taking my keys 3. Find keys 4. Apologize for key witchhunt
@AimeeHelene1: I own a lot of cleaning supplies for someone whose friends inscribed "dust me" on my coffee table recently.