@GuyThe_Guy: My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat.
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@sgtblueeyes: I told her it's been a while. She told me that was fine. It's just like riding a bike. Now she's mad I checked her for proper inflation
@FlyJ_: My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist.
@KevinFarzad: According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet