@SeanEmeny: "My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I'm not coming in" - No guy, ever
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@freypalm: *I describe my lost cat to the cops* Sketch Artist: *draws my cat* Detective Dog: *adds WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE beneath the picture*
@OddMarc: If you don't walk sideways chanting 'crab people' when holding tongs, we can't be friends.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look