@SeanEmeny: "My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I'm not coming in" - No guy, ever
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@Mom_Overboard: Me: When do you install the lasers? Lasik Surgeon: Ma'am that is not how lasik eye surgery works... Me: So do they just shoot out my pupils, or...?
@beefman138: Steve : I'm going to call it the Steveharmonic orchestra. *Phil creeps up from behind with baseball bat*
@IamEnidColeslaw: That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died.