@viktorvaughan: My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian.
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@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@weirdralph: My son keeps running around naked, so I sprayed him with Windex. It's supposed to prevent streaking.
@Sakshi9998: game of thrones bt it's my family fighting over who will sit in grandma's chair while watching t.v. After she dies.