@BooFricketyHoo: My plan to disappoint everyone I've ever known is exceeding my expectations.
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@Andee_Stewart: Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot
@TheRealNickKay: SON: [Stood by tree with apple on head] Dad, what ever happened to my three younger brothers? WILLIAM TELL: [Aiming arrow] ....Chicken pox
@AngelaEhh: People say to enjoy the messes your kids leave, because you'll miss them when they're grown and gone. I like to call those people liars.
@VeganZebra: Bully: Give me your lunch money Me (clutching my lunch sack against my body): My name isn't Money