@BooFricketyHoo: My plan to disappoint everyone I've ever known is exceeding my expectations.
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@mortimermaiden: Realtor: This house has a great location Me: But what's the square doggage? Realtor: What Me: *rubbing my temples* How many dogs can it fit?
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.