@notfaizzy: my Playstation got stolen... i have no one to console me.
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@Crunk_Jews: So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, "a way out" isn't the right answer.
@QwertyJones3: Doctor: It's been weeks since we restored your vision. Thoughts? "I can't believe that British guy from the Geico commercials is a lizard."
@NYC_Blonde: I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight.