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@notfaizzy: my Playstation got stolen... i have no one to console me.
@badbanana: I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books.
@causticbob: All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!
@Eightinchgoat: It was just White Floyd until that one red sock got mixed in.
@TylerLinkin: I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
@krisv_723: Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.