@Hobo_Splendido: My position on marijuana is slumped in a beanbag chair.
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@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
@MarcusTheToken: I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown* Me: Sweetie, you need to share Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35
@Danny_McH2O: She told me my analogies didn't make any sense. It seriously made me feel like a biscuit in an elevator.