@mojo_bones_: My pot never calls the kettle 'black' because I don't buy talking marijuana
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@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.
@TitaniumToplass: The bad news is we need to downsize on people named Jeremy, so you're fired. WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS? India's tiger population is up 30%!
@Brianhopecomedy: I want to be important enough to receive a phone call, say one word, hang up and having the end result being something blown up.