@ForcedHands: My problem is, I'm about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
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@AndyAsAdjective: KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
@IamJackBoot: If you have any selfies of you running from wolves then yes, I would be very interested.
@drhappyknuckles: *couples therapy* WIFE: He has become extremely cold and distant. HUSBAND (via skype, from an arctic research base): Not true.