@ForcedHands: My problem is, I'm about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
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@kevinseccia: The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says "kill, kill, kill" as his eyes swirl...
@checkyourfox: I'm sorry I got you birth control for Christmas and said it was my gift to the world.
@E_lok44: One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous
@moooooog35: Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.