@Cheeseboy22: My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds.
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@Rollinintheseat: Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell "She's right there!" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater.
@Cravin4: Pro Tip: On 20th wedding anniversary, giving wife a book called "The Many Benefits of Kegels". Is not a great idea. I know this now.