@Schindizzle: My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox.
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats
@FattMernandez: Don't trust anyone who wants to "get you out of your comfort zone." Why would you ever want to leave something called a comfort zone?!
@SatansTongue: *snail Olympics* How does it feel? "Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? "What"
@Scarlet_Rose67: My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one.