@Schindizzle: My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox.
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@NicCageMatch: A surprise party on someone's birthday isn't surprising. A better time would be 3-4 months after their birthday, in the middle of the night.
@Lazer_Cat_: Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit.
@rambo_dogg: If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending