@Vodkantots: My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me.
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@treydayway: I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.
@JMFnSparks: Dear men, I can make your girl scream louder than you can ever make her! Love, Spiders
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: How many beers did you have while I was gone? Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.