@One_FineMess: My pup has now chewed up 4 welcome mats and I'm beginning to think she's more antisocial than I am.
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@PaperWash: Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet
@briancthayer: *mom puts a gummy vitamin in my mouth while I yawn* Mom, I'm 36. *chews it up, swallows* Adults are supposed to have 2 though.
@FuckabillyRex: Hey, babygirl, I have ten bucks and a BOGO coupon for McDonalds. Wanna come watch me eat two Big Macs?