@LBelle1: My purse is deeper than some people.
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@TheBoydP: [Carnac the Magnificent] Donald Trump Hannibal Lector Liver and fava beans *opens envelope* "Name a winner, a skinner, and a dinner"
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@jlock17: Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."