@LBelle1: My purse is deeper than some people.
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@jwoodham: Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
@better_off_dad: *reading note from son: 'Can I borrow your car later?' *response: 'You spelled 'wash' wrong. But yes.'
@FuckabillyRex: I just saw an old guy pick a rubber glove out of a garbage can and put it on, and I think he might be missing the point of rubber gloves.
@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets.