@LBelle1: My purse is deeper than some people.
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@autocorrects: I don't understand why some snacks are "fun-sized", there's really nothing "fun" about having a smaller portion of food.
@Lisa_Laughs_: You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific.
@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
@ArfMeasures: CUTE GIRL IN BAR: *walks up, points to my empty glass* Want another? ME: (OK don't blow this) Sure *she hands me her empty glass & leaves*