@LBelle1: My purse is deeper than some people.
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@YeahDrewisOn: Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!
@jergarl: 89% of being a parent is telling my kids to put on shoes before we leave the house and then getting in the car wearing my slippers.
@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.