@david8hughes: My ransom was dropped from $30,000 to fifty bucks when my parents told my kidnappers it'd take 2 days to come up with the money.
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@AddTequila: My son: "Dad what's a douche bag?" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?....
@LizHackett: No member of any family has the same interpretation of the sentence "We need to leave in ten minutes."
@david8hughes: How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good.
@DomComedy: If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like "and this is where the magic happens" in every room.