@birbigs: My rap name is "NO PLANZ."
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@markleggett: The worst part of being an astronaut would be eventually having to come back to Earth and deal with other people.
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: u have 5 wishes ME: don't u mean 3 wishes? GENIE: usually but it seems like u have a lot of problems
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: We need to go to the store. We’re out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We’re out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*