@CanadianMclovin: My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :(
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@YesThatAmy: If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella.
@WilliamRodgers: I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone.
@LeonHWolf: How do you explain this gap in your resume? "I was in jail." Okay. Sure you weren't working for Trump's campaign? "Swear to God. Jail."