@CanadianMclovin: My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :(
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@Brampersandon_: ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME: *inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk* I thought u'd never ask
@soulindivision: "I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
@EyeSeeYou619: Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him.