@CanadianMclovin: My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :(
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@GrillinChillin9: Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they're getting insulted or complimented daily.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
@Sorrowscopes: Taurus: Resist temptation in all its forms, but especially in the form of a pie sitting under a crate propped up by a stick with a string tied to it.