@CelebrityChez: My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five minutes, then it closed the door and left.
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@OneFunnyMummy: All that money and sleep was super annoying anyway. -lies parents tell themselves
@ariscott: [Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
@UncleDuke1969: "Hi-" "I have a boyfriend." "Do y-" "I have a boyfriend." "Excuse m-" "I have a boyfriend." "I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS."