@TommyKarate: My relationship status is a Taylor Swift song just waiting to happen.
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@Manda_like_wine: Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.