@notfaizzy: My right eye has been twitching for over a week! Know what that means, someone's been thinking of me so much they're giving me a stroke!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@copymama: After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread: “This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.
@TheNardvark: If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau they would win celebrity couple nicknaming forever with "Portmanteau."
@Dawn_M_: If you see a baby locked in a car break the window and put another baby in there, he's probably lonely.