@prettysadmostly: my roomba is carrying a beer around the house and eating chips off the floor just like me
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@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?
@TragicAllyHere: A fun part of marriage is arguing over who deserves to use the charger in the car. PROVE IT, SHOW ME YOUR PERCENTAGE