@CauseWereGuys: My roommate is 3 days younger than me so ive gotten in the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 3 days ago
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: You promised you'd take the dog out. ME: Okay, fine. [later] DOG: This is a really nice place. ME: *looking up from menu* What are you gonna have?