@CauseWereGuys: My roommate is 3 days younger than me so ive gotten in the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 3 days ago
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@LaytesAgain: If she doesn't scream "YES!" in bed... I don't know. Maybe start asking her different questions?
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding.
@jessokfine: If someone walks in on you hatching your evil plan, just tell them you were rubbing in some hand moisturizer.