@IamEveryDayPpl: My scariest campfire story is about the time I held a flashlight under my chin to tell one and everybody started counting my whiskers...
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@nbadag: [movie theater] TRAILER ANNOUNCER: how far will one man go.....to protect what he loves ME: [turning to person behind me] pretty far i bet
@EndhooS: Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'
@RoosterMustache: *i sneeze* Atheist: bless u Me: ha! i caught u Atheist: no its just like, an expression Me:*grabbing him by shoulders* u believe in god