@sirrruh: My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
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@Cheeseboy22: Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)
@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.
@ruinedpicnic: parents, think twice before dressing your child as Cecil the Lion this year. my son will be dressed as a dentist, and I gave him a real gun
@QwertyJones3: HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan.