@Cryptoterra: My sense of humor has been described as "please stop" and "you're ruining dinner"
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@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.
@xLiserx: BF: Come over. Let's do sex. Me: I'm tired. BF: I have tacos. Me: It's late. Brendan Fraser: I won't make you watch my movies. Me: On my way