@totalwackjob: My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, we all scream, while I'm crawling under the bathroom stall to say hi to you.
@TheAlexNevil: Can't wait to one day be a grandparent, to see my adorable grandson misbehave, then look at my son and say "Annoying, huh?"
@ArfMeasures: GUY: Welcome to Assumption Club. The first rule is ME: Yeah I think we got it thanks pal GUY: [under breath] Holy shit this guy's good
@iamspacegirl: 'Nothing like a real book' I say 'The scent, pages between my fingers- cracking the spine!' My tree girlfriend's parents sway uncomfortably