@samalmightysam: My sex life is like Coca-Cola; first it was normal, then light and now zero.
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@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
@jake_likes_naps: "Daddy will u tuck me in?:)" "Ok" *tucks him in* "Daddy sing me a song:)" "Ok" *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H
@drunkNnaughty: I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.