@ajax06: I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy.

@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.

@MarfSalvador: Me: I need a doctor's appointment Receptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow? Me: No I don't need that many

@CherBear162: In the movie Titanic it always bugged me that she stayed on the raft when clearly she had more body fat for warmth.

@buhsbaby_baby: Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive.