@RorynotRoy: "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

@Amusitr0n: *Cowboy stares at the horizon* "A storm's comin" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*

@LosLos__: Rhetorical is still a word, right?

@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Someone in the office keeps making decaf coffee & I've narrowed it down to that guy who never gets anything done.

@12spoopy11u: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless.