@IamEnidColeslaw: my signature move is called "the Mouse," where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon
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@Tmoney68: [Naming Days Meeting] Guy 1: We need a name for the last one. Guy Who Named Wednesday: Sudnaday? Guy 1: Not one more goddamn word, Barry.
@MsSugar_Kisses: I need to chat with my coworker's husband.. If he was bangin' her properly, we wouldn't have to deal with her bad attitude..
@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.
@ReeseButCallMeV: Mean while, back on Facebook, Jennifer is blaming the birth of her son for her being fat. Her son is 6 ....