@IamEnidColeslaw: my signature move is called "the Mouse," where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon
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@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
@truegritrumble: Harmonicas were invented in 1932 when the worst person in the world decided he needed to organize his hot air into compartments.
@LaurelleMartin: My boys are gamers and I'm single It's like a race to see who can use the most batteries
@SondraDeeMe: [party] ME: I'm uncomfortable BF: Just mingle ME: Do I introduce myself? BF: We're at your family reunion