@jeannerbeaner: My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it.
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@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
@nbadag: NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese
@charmfoz: The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.