@bengulate: My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.
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@sassy__cat6: My 10yo said when they're mean to people they miss recess. A lot of you need to miss recess.
@Chloestylo: Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade
@radtoria: Cute guy: Is this seat taken? Me: (ok, play it cool) No. *smiles* Him: *takes chair away*