@bengulate: My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OohSnapItsChris: My financial advisor told me that I could catch up on my bills if I stopped buying so much pizza. We laughed and laughed. Then I fired him.
@nickwiger: [on my deathbed in 50 years] ugh when that hostess said "enjoy your meal" why did I reply "you too"
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?