@BeardSpice: My signature move is signing a piece of paper.
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@JermHimselfish: *holding a rattlesnake in each hand* These are the angriest maracas I've ever played
@UncleDuke1969: Frankenstein: Master go fishing? Igor: Yes. F: Master take worms? I: Yes. F: Master put on hook? I: Yup. F: Hehe...Master ba- I: Just don't.
@aPunch2theJunk: I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."
@aligarchy: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt? ME: no thank you i don't want any proof that i've eaten here