@BeardSpice: My signature move is signing a piece of paper.
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@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
@markedly: ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now
@iRowlf: Lowe's banned me for yelling "From the windows! To the walls! To the sweat drop down my balls!", as I explained how much carpet I needed.