@Diversion50: My signature move is texting "There in 5" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer.
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@robotmouthfarts: EMT: [opens my shirt revealing bread covering my nipples] You faked cardiac arrest for this? Me: Just say clear and make my grilled cheese.
@KalvinMacleod: GOD: I've created donuts ANGEL: ooh they're yummy but why the hole? GOD: ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: because they are holy GOD: because they are holy