@Diversion50: My signature move is texting "There in 5" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer.
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@Laser_Cat: You can tell I come from a long line of hunters the way I cunningly stalk the rare Totino's Frozen Pizza.
@KalvinMacleod: If there's one thing children have taught me it's how to count down from 5 while pretending there's a huge consequence if I ever reach zero.
@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.
@DanMentos: [nabisco hq] "Wheat Thins sales are down we need ideas" *raises hand* "anyone else?" … … "ok Dan, but I swear to god if u say-" Wheat Thicks