@StephenBCramer: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
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@tat2dsoccermom: So, this co-worker stated that she makes ice cubes with her leftover alcohol. I'm confused. What's leftover alcohol?
@FuckabillyRex: Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while.
@haleysfalling: patrick henry: GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH bad people: ok, death patrick henry: [turns around and whispers] guys this was not smart