@djr_102: My sister just had a baby and she seems to have forgotten all about my problems.
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@KrazykurtKurt: If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again
@DepecheALAmode: Moths are really just butterflies on meth, all angry and shit while head-butting light bulbs and biting holes in your favorite shirt.
@ch000ch: hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car
@kcmoore51: I hate when my wife says her friend at work "got flowers again today" and I have to kill that chick's husband.