@mewchainz: My sister said she had strange cravings and an enhanced sense of smell so she must be pregnant, but I secretly thought, "werewolf."
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@TylerLinkin: 1. Rent storage unit 2. Procure 3 bodies at morgue 3. Place bodies in storage unit 4. Stop making payments 5. Wait. Best Storage Wars Ever
@AlexEllisdon: Was very hungry when I made a wish to the genie I found in a lamp and I had a Freudian slip and now I'm a chicken magnet
@SteveSuckington: If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family.
@PYWL: I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don't need to sleep anymore anyway.