@KarenKilgariff: My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed "I hate you!" and she gently replied "I know. It doesn't matter."
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@SortaBad: Fellow Black Friday shopper: I'm so excited! What are you trying to buy? Me: oh I can't afford anything, I'm hoping to be trampled to death
@DaddyJew: Apparently shouting out "he has a gun" isn't the best way to let everyone in the bank know that you see the security guard. I know this now.
@BrettDruck: I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch.