@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
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@mishakey: I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
@VeggieMonger: Someone suggested that I try Acupuncture. I don't think adding more pricks will make a difference.
@TheBoydP: If you get nervous when the IT support desk takes control of your computer remember they're whispering "no weirdos please" to themselves.