@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
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@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"
@Aut_tot: People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself
@iamspacegirl: Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light