@Chumpstring: My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PinkCamoTO: H: I think we should see other people. Me: Do I have to? I don't even really want to see you.
@The_CamGirl: ME: I love the D HER:Why? ME:I love to lick them first HER:... ME:Then I love to swallow them HER:... ME:I love D Dunkin' Donuts Interview
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring
@shanethevein: Cop said that it's illegal for me to have flashing lights & siren on my car. I looked at his car and said are you going to arrest yourself?