@just1fool: My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is.
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@ItsAndyRyan: I asked my wife for an audio book and she got me an encyclopaedia. That speaks volumes.
@vineyille: Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
@Fred_Delicious: *sees a hot girl on the train* "ay gurl check this out" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*