@deegeemindi: My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money "too dirty." He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned
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@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@ThePocketJustin: Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?
@ValeeGrrl: An enterprising divorce lawyer would set up a booth on a Sunday at a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm.
@ComedyAndTruth: Dentist: *Pokes gums with sharp pointy instrament of death* Dentist: "Your gums are bleeding because you don't floss."