@deegeemindi: My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money "too dirty." He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned
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@UnicornSyrup: WARNING: If someone sends a link to download the new Nickelback single, DON'T CLICK ON IT! It's a link to download the new Nickelback single
@MarcusOreally: Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy. Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control.
@Snarfernini: Brain: HEY 2am let's think about Greg Me: Ok Brain: He saw you scratching your nose today & thinks you picked it Me: Wa...what? Brain: Owned