@patnelke: My sleeping pills say don't mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything.
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@Briidashian: Being a diabetic has proved to be difficult. For example, I can't have a sugar daddy.
@Twtercide: Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter....
@zbinski: The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.