@patnelke: My sleeping pills say don't mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything.
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@brendohare: Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am
@whosnutstoo: Your heart beats faster, your knees go weak, you start to sweat. Is this love? No you're probably hypoglycemic
@TurboJellyBean: Her:"my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid" Me:"your car doesn't have blinker fluid." Her:"I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"